es geht immer noch was

A Mother's Letter

Dear Son,
just to let you know that I got your letter. When you write again don't write so fast as I can only read slowly. It's so long since I saw you I've forgotten what you look like but your face is ever before me. Every time I feed the pöigs I think of the last bite we had together.
You won't know the house when you come home, we've moved, so meet me at the ould place on Sunday. If I'm there first I'll put a chalk mark on the wall, if you're there first, rub it out.
I went to the doctor's on Monday; I've got a headache in my big toe. The doctor put a tube in my mouth and told me to keep quiet for 5 minutes.
Your father bought the tube from him.
Your sister had a baby this morning. I'm not sure if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you're an aunt or uncle.
Your father's got a lovely new job at the brewery - he's testing the beer. There's lots of overtime, in fact he hasn't been home for 6 weeks.
The weather isn't so bad this week, it only rained twice. First for 3 days, then for 4 days and we had snow one day.

Your loving Mother.

P.S. If you don't receive this letter, let me know.

A Daughter's Letter

Dear Mother,
Mick's grandfather is still staying with us. He is ninety four now. the first thing he does in the morning is read the newspaper in bed, he looks at the deaths and if his name is not in it he gets up.
Last week he thought he had a hole in his heart but it turned out to be a polo mint in his pyjama pocket.
There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in but it has not been working very well. Last week I put in ten shirts, pulled the chain, and haven't seen the shirts since.
Mick wants to buy me a dog. He says if he gets a blach and white one the licence will be cheaper.
Uncle Paddy has just been given a suspended sentance. They have hung him.
Mick went to the doctor last weekl but when he came home he daid the doctor was no good because all his patients were sick.
The doctor told him to take a hot glass of orange after a hot bath, he's still drinking the hot bath. The doctor said he suffers like his father from alcoholic constipation. It  means he can't pass a pub.
The weather has been very bad. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.

Your loving daughter.

Blessings

May you ive as long as you want and never want as long as you live.

May the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be towards you.

Drink

You take your health once too often to the whiskey shop till it gets broken.

It's the first drop that destroyed me, there's no harm at all in the last.

Friendship

There was never a shabby sheep in a flock that didn't like tohave a comrade.

A friend's eye is a good mirror.

Truth

A man with a loud laugh makes truth itself seem folly.

You can keep away from the Rogue, but you can't keep yourself safe from the liar.

Health

A good laugh and a good sleep, the best cures in a doctor's book.

What butter or whiskey wil not cure, there's no cure for.

Love

Live in my haeart an pay no rent.

To the raven her own chick is white.

Love conceals ugliness, hate sees a lot of faults.

Rumour

The person who brings a story to you will take away two from you.

Leave the bad tale where you found it.

There is no smoke without fire.

Talk by the fire is the talk of idle women.

Marriage

Never make a toil of pleasure, said the man when he dug his wife's grave only three feet deep.

There's only one thing better than a good wife - no wife.

A bad wife takes advice from everyone but her own husband.